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Archive for April, 2010

The Last Song – Book/Movie (Mom)

My daughter wrote her review/comparison before I wrote mine. I will try to respond and expand on certain things she mentioned, plus some things we discussed after reading the book and watching the movie.

Nicholas Sparks has said he wrote the book with Miley Cyrus in mind as the lead for the film. Keeping that in mind, I have some questions as to which things were changed specifically for the movie. As every mom knows by now, budget requirements sometimes override creative input.

My teen describes the book is written in a way that mixes romance, heartbreak and a touch of mystery. I wouldn’t say comedy, because those laughs were very-necessary relief from the tension.

If you haven’t read the book or seen the previews, the story centers on Ronnie (Veronica) spending the summer with her dad on the beach. The book says Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina, the movie changes this to Tybee Island, Georgia. To those who live in the NY/NJ area, either of the two seems like a great place to be. By plane, not much difference.

In the book and the movie, Ronnie’s mom drives her to dad’s house. Try driving 11 hours from NYC midtown (I used Grand Central as a starting point) with a 17-year-old who doesn’t wanna go to dad’s house. Now try 14 to 15 hours with that same teenager and her younger brother as they argue. What do you call a mom who makes that trip without pulling over, or yelling? An absolute saint, or completely imaginary.

One scene from the book, was Ronnie’s first afternoon at the beach. She gets out of her mom’s car, walks past her dad without saying hello, and goes to the beach. While she’s looking for fun or trouble, or trying to stay away from her dad, a fight breaks out. Where some teenagers might walk away to avoid getting drawn into the fight, Ronnie raises her voice and rescues a little boy who was wandering into the battlefield. I mention this scene specifically because it’s the first  glimpse of caring from her. If the movie had included this scene, we would think of her earlier attitude as cranky instead of dismissive. As we heard so often and continue to hear today “if you want to be treated like an adult, try acting like an adult”.

I won’t spoil the book, or the movie, for anyone who wants to enjoy them. I can tell you the book has some very dramatic moments, where Ronnie discovers things about her parents. These facts make her realize that her parents are people, not just mom and dad. In the movie, these moments are removed and we have the story of a girl reconnecting with her dad and finding her first love.

In the book, Ronnie’s dad Steve lived by himself but had a very intimate relationship with God, plus personal friendship and a mentor relationship with Pastor Harris of the local church. Steve was working on a stained glass window for the church, which I found symbolic for the rebuilding of his relationship with Ronnie. The moments when Steve would play on the church’s piano made me cry, because it was like overhearing his most private thoughts. Without his outside interests, Steve seemed stuck as a dad instead of being a full character on his own. There were other parts of the movie where characters were condensed or almost eliminated, and those cuts affected my feelings about the film.

As my daughter wrote in her review..

the movie is great by itself. But if you read the book, you may be a bit disappointed.

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The Last Song Book-Movie Review

The book by Nicholas Sparks is great. The book is what I would call a classic Nicholas Sparks. It is the perfect mixture of romance, mystery, comedy and heartbreak. The romance isn’t very mushy, don’t expect couples crying at sunset or something.

The movie, based on the novel, was also great. The locations were beautiful, and very close to how I imagined while reading the book. The characters were also a match to the descriptions in the book. However, some things were changed from the book to the big screen.

The movie was not faithful to the book in many ways. One of the big changes was the setting. In the movie, Ronnie’s mother drove the kids to Georgia. “Georgia!?” I thought the book said North Carolina. My mom and I caught the change, and it stuck with me. The movie also omitted many little details that stayed with me from the book.

The movie is great by itself, but if you read the book you may be a bit disappointed.

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Sunday morning, my daughter and I went out early in the morning. We beat the crowds, then managed to get to our local Friendly’s when the menu changeover was happening. There was some doubt before we settled on lunch so we could have ice cream. Because, really, who has dessert after breakfast?

Friendlys

Top left – chicken barbecue supermelt, with waffle fries
Top right – Forbidden chocolate and Vienna mocha chunk ice creams with gummi bears
Center and bottom left – Blue moon sirloin salad with lite peppercorn ranch dressing
Bottom right – Black raspberry ice cream with strawberry topping

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GIGI – now to confirm shipping information so you can enjoy your book.

Posada Winner

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This weekend I got an e-mail alert, for Oprah’s show this Monday, April 12. Lisa Ling travels to an isolated island. Not for scenery, or a restaurant, or a spiritual retreat. This trip is to a place where hundreds of sex predators live. Oprah Show – Most Dangerous Offenders in America

My heart dropped. I’m a single mother to a teenage girl. Over this past summer of 2009, we attended a birthday party. A man came up to my daughter, while she was sitting next to me, and offered her a beer. He didn’t speak to me, except to mumble an apology as he quickly backed away when I screamed “SHE’S ONLY THIRTEEN!”

Every mother, of course, thinks her child is beautiful. Well, call me immodest because I believe my daughter is an exotic beauty. Her caramel skin, hazel eyes and kinky brown hair make her easy to spot in a crowd, as if being taller than most kids in her grade weren’t enough. This is only a slight step down from when she was the tallest kid in school – the school went to fifth grade and in third grade she was the tallest of all students.

What to do? Tell my daughter don’t talk to strangers, program her cellphone with every nearby relative on speed dial, sign her up for self-defense classes? I’m not athletically inclined, so the thought of flying kicks makes me nervous. Practicing at home would be difficult at the least.

I had my daughter read Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker. This book goes beyond avoiding strangers, to help parents teach their children how to stay safe in different situations. It happens way too often – police officers are accused of crimes, caregivers are negligent or abusive, classmates pressure each other to do things. In Protecting the Gift, anecdotes are shared by survivors who would have otherwise been victims. The mother who fought off an intruder while holding an infant on her hip, is only one example.

Years ago I read The Gift of Fear, also by Gavin DeBecker. That book reinforced something I had suspected for a long time but had never been able to voice correctly. Gut reactions are perfectly valid reasons to avoid a certain location or person. The nice guy who won’t take no for an answer could be a potential stalker. He could also be a nice guy – so where is the line? When my daughter got to middle school and had to travel further each day, I had her read The Gift of Fear.

In both books Mr. DeBecker discusses strategies used by offenders, such as forced teaming – we gotta go feed that hungry cat and ignoring NO – very simply, insisting until you give in. He offers counter-attacks to avoid becoming a statistic. These books have been invaluable to me and to my daughter. If I hadn’t been at her side when that man – a stranger no less – offered her a beer, she would have refused it. Any further offers would have prompted her to get up and find our hostess, embarrassing him and further exposing him to angry relatives or the police. My daughter has her checklist every day before leaving for school. Bookbag, keys, phone, lunch, lip gloss. I feel better knowing she has learned some tough lessons from Gavin DeBecker’s books, instead of first-hand experience.

I wrote to Mr. DeBecker, thanking him for putting his skills within reach of civilians. He has, after all, consulted with government agencies to implement security protocols, responded to celebrity concerns about overzealous fans, and created eight different versions of the Mosaic Threat Assessment System. Add to this, the books, articles and personal appearances on shows such as Oprah and try to imagine my reaction when Mr. DeBecker sent me two autographed books. One each, The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift. These books are consistent best-sellers, because they deal with situations and issues every adult or parent has to handle every day. You can win the book of your choice.

Methods of Entry

Method of Entry #1 – Share a personal safety tip in a comment.
Method of Entry #2 – Share a story of a dangerous situation you handled.
Method of Entry #3 – Follow me on twitter, leave a comment so it counts as an entry.

Terms and Conditions

Two winner will be selected on or about May 7, 2010.
One winner selected will receive an autographed copy of  The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker.
One winner selected will receive an autographed copy of Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker.
Book will be shipped (with tracking fees paid) via United States Postal Service, after winner is confirmed via e-mail.
Please see Giveaway and Contest Rules for other rules which apply to this drawing.

DISCLOSURE: This book was provided by the author, Gavin DeBecker, for this giveaway at no cost to me.

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Today my daughter and I attended a free community yoga class at Starseed Yoga, led by my friend Gigi.

Although we were late due to transit detours, it was a soothing and energizing experience.

After class, I asked Gigi to pose for a photo.

AfterFirstClass

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For years I was intimidated, reading about many different types of yoga. Everywhere someone was discussing the newest method, piece of equipment, or gimmick. Then one day I brought up the topic of yoga with my friend Gigi, and she said “oh I go to a yoga studio for classes, you can come with me”. No pressure, no hype. An invitation from a friend.

Gigi brought me to yoga class in February 2009, around Valentine’s Day. A candlelight class, with lots of stretching and twisting, occasionally using blocks, mats, or ropes, with soft music. The teacher spoke in soothing tones, and afterward we had hot tea and mini chocolates.

This week Gigi will teach her first class at the Starseed Yoga studio, where she took me to stretch my horizons. It’s a free community class, open to the general public.

I copied some suggestions from the Starseed Yoga website:

Getting Started Tips

  • Please wear comfortable workout attire. Layers are best, as your body temperature changes throughout your practice. Be prepared to work in bare feet.
  • Please refrain from wearing any colognes or perfumes.
  • Arrive 15 minutes before class. Check in at the office downstairs by filling in a new student registration form.
  • Before entering the practice room (Chandra), take off your shoes, and turn off your cell phone.
  • Bring a towel to wipe down your mat after use if you sweat during class.
  • We provide mats, but we encourage you to purchase your own. JadeYoga eco mats are available for sale in the office. Your mat is an important tool and a symbol of commitment to your practice.
  • Avoid practicing with a full stomach, and drink plenty of water before class to remain hydrated through your practice.
  • Introduce yourself as a new student to your teacher and please let your teacher know if you have any injuries or conditions that the teacher should know about.
  • Yoga is a process. Be consistent in your practice. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.

Gigi suggests Bring Your Own Mat, if you have one. Considering this week seems to be a popular time for spring break, I think that’s very logical.

See you this Wednesday! April 7, 4pm, 215 Glenridge Avenue, Montclair, NJ

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Everybody loves BABIES!

A couple of weeks ago, my teen came home super-excited about this new movie, BABIES. She kept trying to explain it to me, and it sounded silly until she sat down and mentioned the twins in the trailer.

We searched for the trailer, and spent about 15 minutes replaying it, babbling at the cootie-wooties. We know, they’re on the screen and not in our arms. They’re just so … see for yourself! The movie is due to be released on Mothers Day weekend.

BABIES

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