Square One Again

Earlier this month I tied the knot. Became a wife. Yup, he calls me missus.

To quote Shug Avery in The Color Purple

I’s married now!

There was a flurry of hugs, a few signatures, and now a whole new life begins. I find myself asking “honey is it okay if I go to .. ” instead of declaring “Lesli, I am going to .. “

Sometime during the flurry of last-minute details, loose ends, and preparing for back to school, there was a notice of yearly charges for www.ofelianj.com – I saw this and decided to not renew the domain.

My decision, without any input, has been to blog for fun. Share about the days, outings, people that bring me joy. If someone likes what I write, wonderful. If nobody likes what I write, awesome. Because this social media thing was supposed to be fun, not a job or a career for me.

When there is a chance to connect with friends, or connect friends to each other, I will make it happen.

Please join me at www.ofelianj.wordpress.com, at www.twitter.com/ofeliapnj or at www.facebook.com/ofelianj as I share images of interesting things. But only after a family discussion

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Sizzling Summer 3 – Wordfilled Wednesday

This week has been filled with blessings, opportunities, and goodness. There have been moments where I wondered “why me, what did I do to deserve so much goodness”? Then there was a moment yesterday, where I was notified of a pending comment and wondered “why me, what did I do to encourage such hate“?

I stood still, looked around and thought, how did this person find my blog? Do they subscribe, or read regularly? Is there a personal grudge involved? My first thought was to ignore or delete the comment. But that would make me feel like a hypocrite. I did, after all, write a post that ended with a question. I encouraged feedback.

Late last night, while still debating what to do about this comment, I sent out a tweet asking for advice, and got several responses. The opinions were split between approve, or delete. My final decision was to post the comment as an image, and edit to remove the name of the person who was criticized.

Sizzling Summer 3

Allow me to quote my college professor.

In this space, you are amongst friends.

Now for my thoughts. Next time I get a comment that makes me feel “icky” it may be ignored or deleted. I feel no guilt or shame for saying that. The beauty of social media is that on my blog, it’s my rules. So here are the rules, for future reference.

1. No profanity will be used in a post, or tolerated in a comment, on this blog.
2. If you disagree with something on this blog, please be respectful when stating your point of view.
3. Please back up your statements with facts or examples.
4. No personal attacks.

If this is unacceptable, there are many unmoderated sites where you can post your opinion, attack the writer or share your views. Please make no mistake, as long as I write and/or edit the posts on this blog, the basic rules will will be the same as in my home.

If you don’t like something or someone, please do one of the following:

• Calmly explain why, using civilized language, or
• Keep it to yourself.

I will now be deleting that pending comment, and updating the blog’s terms of usage.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my Sizzling Summer Wordfilled Wednesday post. Have a wonderful day!

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Sorry – Wordfilled Wednesday

A select few of you may have seen this last week on Facebook. My daughter Lesli was being a typical teenager and forgot to think before posting comments on her wall. In between her two last posts we had at least two text messages, plus one phone call where she understood the potential consequences of her comments. As I  told Lesli during our phone call, just as the sarcastic statements were public the apology also needed to public. After all, we have seen many examples of celebrities embarrassed when rumors spread on Facebook, Twitter and other social media outlets.

• Lesli College is boring   February 24 at 9:52am
• Mom You were bored because you were stuck in cafeteria. Today you’re home with plenty to do! February 25 at 9:07am
• Lesli mom, go away. get to class or something. February 25 at 9:08am
• Mom I’m IN CLASS – computers! Don’t you wish you could be here today?! February 25 at 9:10am
• Lesli THEN GET OFF FACEBOOK! and off of my status:) February 25 at 9:11am
• Lesli I’m sorry that I spoke to you like that… February 25 at 1:15pm
• Mom Apology accepted. In the future, don’t type what you wouldn’t say in person. Anyone who knows you,
  or me, knows you COULDN’T say that in person. February 25 at 1:19pm

If you met us you can imagine that this conversation would never happen in person. At the moment we were each behind our screens, Lesli thought I would understand her wit as banter. Any adult reading  the posts might have thought this was attitude. Even worse, if these posts had involved anyone besides me (such as between two teens), one of them could possibly be accused of harassment or cyberbullying.

If you’re reading this post, regardless of your age, please take a look at ConnectSafely, CyberBully411 and GetNetWise. All these sites have resources for parents and teens. As an added bonus, some very big names (such as Google and Verizon) have joined forces to create the first NetSafetyApp for smartphones. Please take a look at all the information and tools available at these sites. Better safe than sorry, right?

Let’s start a discussion .. do you think I did the right thing, asking for a public apology and then writing this post?

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Latina Bloggers – The New Face of Social Media

I came home today and got my copy of Hispanic Business. Imagine my reaction at seeing Latina bloggers featured, as a force to be recognized and respected. My daughter was a little surprised that I have met these women who are keeping social media … social.

This article will definitely be helpful in explaining why I’m so excited about 2011 BlogHer. I will update SOON with photos from inside the magazine (trying to crop, edit and so forth).

Hispanic Business Cover

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December 1 – Reverb10

Prompt: One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word.

Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

And my responses

2010 SURPRISE – Family, friends and people I hadn’t met (I’m talking about the wonderful people of Twitter and other social media treasures) surprised me by inviting me and offering tickets to all sorts of special events, I surprised myself by finally enrolling in college, surprised my teen by taking a more active role in cooking (shhh), the explanations would go on for paragraphs

2011 ACHIEVEMENT – As I’ve established a routine, sought out opportunities, learned more about things I like and things that really don’t appeal to me so much in practice, I’ve also encouraged my teen and others in my life to reach for what they really want.

If so many wonderful amazing things happened in 2010 without really trying, imagine what’s possible when we go out with intention.

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Sniff Sniff Hurray with Gain – Review and Giveaway

As some of you may recall, I recently started my first semester of college. With the responsibilities of  being a mom, doing my school work, checking that my teen does her school work, and occasional invitations for blog and social media events, my schedule has become challenging. Thank goodness for MyBlogSpark and Procter & Gamble, sending the “Sniff Sniff Hurray” box to my door.

There was a full-size bottle of new Gain dishwashing liquid in Original Scent. Also included were three t-shirts in cute colors that reminded me of the fragrances: green for original, blue and purple for lavender.

I took out the Gain dish liquid and gave it to my teenage daughter (because .. well, I was doing my homework). My teen came back from the kitchen energized, completely unlike the usual “dishes are done” expression.

A few days later I was brewing coffee and took my favorite mug out of the cabinet. Yuck, it was dusty. I squirted it with Gain and stopped for a moment. Oh baby! Original Scent reminds me of a freshly mowed lawn after rain. My daughter says it’s green apples. We may finish the bottle before we reach a decision.

Here’s the deal: Leave a comment before Wednesday, November 24 to be eligible for one of two Walmart gift cards. Yes, you read correctly. One of two gift cards. Along with the Gain dish liquid and t-shirts, the nice people of P&G and MyBlogSpark sent gift cards. The t-shirts, in case you’re wondering, are already gone. I used them, along with samples and goodies relating to Procter & Gamble’s brands, as visual aids for a class presentation. I got an A, with notes from my professor: Great use of visuals … What enthusiasm … Great info! … Good visual aids … Fantastic!

I call this a win-win-win. Dishes are no longer a dreaded task at my house. The materials from the “Sniff Sniff Hurray” box helped me get an A. And you get the chance to win a gift card. How do you win a gift card? Leave a comment after doing one of the following.

• Entry 1 like the Gain Facebook page
• Entry 2 play one of the games on Gain’s website and share your results
• Entry 3 like the OfeliaNJ Facebook page

For each method of entry, you must enter a separate comment. Entry deadline is 11:59 PM, Wednesday, November 24, 2010. Any entries received after that time will be disregarded.

Disclaimer: This product review was based on using complimentary Gain products provided by P&G through MyBlogSpark. Bloggers also received Walmart gift cards and T-shirts to share with their friends at their discretion. P&G does not represent or warrant the accuracy of any statements or product claims made here, nor does it endorse any opinions expressed within this blog site.

Within my disclaimer scale, this post rates a CL1 – materials were provided to me free of charge by Procter & Gamble through MyBlogSpark.

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Let’s Talk About It

Social media sometimes can be viewed as a self-centered tool. When we have 500 connections with different people, all the posts about “me, me, me” can be overwhelming.

I try to teach my daughter to use social networks as a new method of communicating and sharing. I make it a point of cautioning her to use discretion, when sharing anything personal. As many have heard by now, “what you say can and will be held against you” is not limited to a court of law.

This morning we both woke up from dreams where we were criticized for posting something on Facebook and/or Twitter. Coincidence? I think not. We discussed briefly and went about our day including attending church. Today’s sermon, as it turned out, was about communication. The pastor’s intent was to focus on marriages (differences in speaking to your spouse or your friends, etc). What struck me was a verse we looked up.

^{Matthew 18:15}

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone..

I know, I know … some people stopped reading right after the word church. Well, guess what? If you’re still with me, you’ll probably agree that each of us, whether we worship or meditate, pray or chant, lives by standards. These standards may be rules, regulations or general guidelines at work or school. If by chance you don’t have standards, well go get some!

OK, back to my original point. The Good Book (best-selling among all books) says “go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.” My personal translation is that before we criticize someone or hold a grudge, the best first step is to approach each other and discuss the problem. I like it!

Before I tell the world about “somebody did me wrong”, I’ll go talk to that somebody. If he or she doesn’t want to hear it, then I feel no guilt telling the world about the problem. If ever accused of airing dirty laundry, my defense is “I went to the person responsible, they didn’t want to talk about it”. After all, friends look out for each other – I wouldn’t want to see someone else go through the same problems.

Ah, I feel much better now. I don’t have anything special to tell anyone (and if I did, that would be handled in private).

Do YOU have any personal guidelines for communication?

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