book · church · daughter · Facebook · social media · Twitter

Let’s Talk About It

Social media sometimes can be viewed as a self-centered tool. When we have 500 connections with different people, all the posts about “me, me, me” can be overwhelming.

I try to teach my daughter to use social networks as a new method of communicating and sharing. I make it a point of cautioning her to use discretion, when sharing anything personal. As many have heard by now, “what you say can and will be held against you” is not limited to a court of law.

This morning we both woke up from dreams where we were criticized for posting something on Facebook and/or Twitter. Coincidence? I think not. We discussed briefly and went about our day including attending church. Today’s sermon, as it turned out, was about communication. The pastor’s intent was to focus on marriages (differences in speaking to your spouse or your friends, etc). What struck me was a verse we looked up.

Matthew 18:15

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone..

I know, I know … some people stopped reading right after the word church. Well, guess what? If you’re still with me, you’ll probably agree that each of us, whether we worship or meditate, pray or chant, lives by standards. These standards may be rules, regulations or general guidelines at work or school. If by chance you don’t have standards, well go get some!

OK, back to my original point. The Good Book (best-selling among all books) says “go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.” My personal translation is that before we criticize someone or hold a grudge, the best first step is to approach each other and discuss the problem. I like it!

Before I tell the world about “somebody did me wrong”, I’ll go talk to that somebody. If he or she doesn’t want to hear it, then I feel no guilt telling the world about the problem. If ever accused of airing dirty laundry, my defense is “I went to the person responsible, they didn’t want to talk about it”. After all, friends look out for each other – I wouldn’t want to see someone else go through the same problems.

Ah, I feel much better now. I don’t have anything special to tell anyone (and if I did, that would be handled in private).

Do YOU have any personal guidelines for communication?

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8 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About It

  1. Hi lovely friend, lol, First off…don’t shoot me for my comments!!! You know I love you lol

    I’m going to start with the quote “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone”…I’m glad the bible has reference to this practice, I did not know that.

    Here’s another interesting quote I always read, and you may have read as well, it’s in my living room on a square wooden box w/ picture frames. All the frames have pictures, except for one with the following poem

    I was angry with my friend:
    I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

    I was angry with my foe:
    I told it not my wrath did grow.

    By William Blake, English Poet 1757-1827

    Well that speaks volumes….if you feel wronged by a friend your best remedy is to make your friend aware of. In truth everyone, every single person in this world is your friend, but through miscommunication, pride, ignorance, little awareness of this Truth we move away from the friendship.

    Soooooo here’s the thing, “…between thee and him ALONE”…hint hint. No putting it in facebook lol If you feel that the experience is beneficial to share with others for their benefits, be discreet!!!! So you’re teaching or sharing the experience & not so much gossiping or speaking badly against another … cause we can’t have enough friends, but one enemy is way too much!!!

    With luvs,
    & deep respect
    Gigi

    1. Gigi, you make an excellent point – keeping negative things to ourselves only makes them worse. What I meant by “before telling the world” was that my first choice would be speak to the person who did something to bother me.

      If the situation involves a negative customer service experience, I try to go within official methods before telling the world “that store stole my money”. And yes, of course, try to find a lesson before simply complaining

  2. I agree wholeheartedly. I also never say anything ABOUT someone that I would not say TO them. That way, people never have to wonder where they stand, or whether to believe it if someone says I said something. I’m honest, I’ll tell you. Just ask.

    1. See, that’s why it’s nice to have lawyer friends – right now I’ve got Jack Nicholson in my brain “you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” because some folks want reassurance, not the truth (but that’s a whole different issue)

  3. Great post! Interesting perspective. I completely agree that you should discuss matters with the person privately to clear the air. I think if it doesn’t work, depending on the situation, let bygones be bygones. If it’s something truly damaging then you can alert those who need to know, otherwise maybe it’s best just to know for yourself. 🙂 just my thoughts. 🙂

    Xoxo

    1. Thanks, Antonia
      I always find it interesting when people let the idea of “dirty laundry” rule their interactions – we don’t like to appear as victims, and the person/entity that acted wrong keeps doing wrong

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