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Miss Nonnegotiable

Here we are. The weather is getting nice. Soon you can spot me cheering or clapping for my niece or nephew at one of their many activities. And I feel like the neon sign is over me, even sitting outdoors or nowhere near an exit. You wonder why? Well, imagine me with Lesli, suddenly looking up and seeing all the happy couples. My back stiffens, in preparation. I can almost count down to the moment someone will ask: “so, do you have a boyfriend”? My easy response of “no” brings another question: “would you like to meet someone?” (yes, yes I would really like to meet someone special). Sometimes, instead of “would you like to meet someone” I get an awkward silence accompanied by the “you’re not getting any younger” look .. a raised eyebrow, eyes shifting to one side or even a pout.

Once in a while, someone will ask “are you on any dating services?” No, and I do not plan to spend the time or effort to join one. I know at least two women who found their Mister Right on dating sites. I even signed up on a dating service, way back when. What happened was, I found more frogs than princes. And I learned something about myself. The idea of getting dolled up, dressed up and worked up, then desperately trying to “be cool” is enough to make me hide under the covers. Besides, I already have a lot going on my life without a man. No need for Jerry Maguire to complete me.

Each morning I wake up to nag Lesli until she leaves get Lesli out to school, then handle my own day. As a full-time college student, student programming member, mom to a teenager, and blogger, my day can include: classes; committee meetings to plan or decorate; discussions with students, teachers, staff, administrators or vendors about campus events or extracurricular activities; social media events online, or in person at different locations; contacting public relations or marketing staff about products. And this is Monday through Friday, while Lesli is at school or at home. Saturdays we: do errands like shopping; volunteer for our community; attend church socials; or prepare for the upcoming week. Every Sunday is church. Lesli and I each serve in the nursery at least once a month. Sometimes we cook or bake for functions at church. Now that the weather is so nice, Lesli often suggests getting out of the house for a long walk together. This can be a good thing, because I wear a pedometer whenever possible, to keep from adding exercise on my to-do list.

By now you may be thinking, does she ever plan to get out there and meet Mister Right? Well, no. Mister Right needs to lace up his shoes, get out and find me. I refuse to give up any of my activities. Blogging? No time soon. If I kept every thought to myself it would not be good for my health. College? No – education is the key to my future. I plan to keep learning, even after I graduate. My work on student activities, is how I give back to the school, my classmates, the staff and administrators. My church is a source of inspiration and support. Motherhood is a rewarding duty and privilege. Mister Right will have to catch my eye and say hello. I have faith that it will happen at the right place and time.  We have not met yet because God is working on my Mister Right, and on me, so we can recognize each other.

For those who believe “be careful what you wish for” (or my version, be specific in what you ask for) here is my list. I am certain all of these items are very important. Just call me “Miss Nonnegotiable”. Take it or leave it.

  1. Share my faith
  2. Family man: love his parents, love me, love Lesli, be comfortable around children
  3. Physically and mentally strong
  4. Willing and able to work with kitchen gadgets – at least fix a salad, sandwich and brew coffee (or limeade) for himself or me
  5. Kind, especially if he has to tell me that my latest Sabroso Saturday recipe creation needs to be tweaked
  6. Study with me – or get out of the way when I dump textbooks, notebooks, pamphlets, brochures, samples and research all over the couch, table or floor – and leave everything just like that until I ask for help
  7. Understand that sometimes I process things by talking – I ask for advice, then solve the problem on my own
  8. Skilled communicator – nice speaking voice, good listener
  9. At least one: philanthropist, volunteer, activist
  10. Taller than me
  11. Intelligent
  12. Curious
  13. Adventurous
  14. Ambitious

Am I asking a lot? Do you have a list of nonnegotiable expectations for potential romantic partners?

DISCLOSURE: The link above for Jerry Maguire is my Amazon associates link. If you buy the movie, I get a percentage.


6 thoughts on “Miss Nonnegotiable

  1. You have every right to be “Miss Non-negotiable”. Why not? You already know what you want and you won’t settle for less. You shouldn’t have to waste time. Go girl! lol

  2. No you are not asking for alot. Don’t settle for less. You know what you want girl you go for it. I love your website.

  3. You have a lot to offer and shouldn’t settle for less! Keep being you! The rest will fall into place At THE RIGHT TIME!

  4. You just know what you want; there’s nothing wrong with that. If you settle for less and end up not happy, you’d have no one to blame but yourself.

    I completely agree with living your life to its fullest and letting Mr. Right enter your life when it’s right. In my opinion, “looking for a man” is not an activity. Men don’t want a woman who has nothing going on besides being on the prowl. They want someone who has a life. Don’t women want the same in a man?

    And please do NOT get me started on all the nosy people asking you about your love life… Unless they personally want to date you, it’s really none of their business…

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